Tough times create a tougher you..

It's hard writing a blog post on my feelings, especially when they are so fresh in my mind, but I won't lie to you, I've been on a huge struggle lately.
I know i've blogged about it vaguely and said 'I think I'm getting there' - but I've realised that I have been monitoring how I feel a little too much, comparing days and winding myself up.

I've learnt that the trick is to stop worrying about how you feel, just embrace it and feel it.

I've been very down in the last couple of weeks, so much so that I can't remember the last time I felt as down as I have, it's okay not to be okay, you need to remember that. What I did, which was wrong, was on top of feeling horrid and down, I beat myself up for feeling like this - I got angry at myself, panicked and hated myself for feeling so down.

Take it from me - this is so much harder than just embracing your sadness, I have been a mess and what I should of been doing all along is just allow myself to be sad, have the time I need to feel the way I did and it would of probably passed a lot quicker. Anxiety has taken its toll too, anxiety is a nasty nasty thing that sometimes just gets too strong to control - this is where you need to have coping mechanisms that you can use, I think I forgot my coping mechanisms and let anxiety put up a huge battle, I really did feel like I was loosing the battle. I thought I was going crazy, that no-one would understand and I felt like I couldn't even handle the smaller things in my day. This was wrong, of course..but you know how anxiety works!

This may sound strange - why would you want to feel sad? You don't, but sometimes your body does things that don't make sense..so don't get angry, just let it run its course and then you can get back up to your normal self.

I don't really want to comment on how I am at the moment, I don't really want to analyse it - by me doing this, I'm being a lot more relaxed about everything, letting my feelings run their course whatever they may be.

I suppose this is my way of managing at the moment. All I know is that I had to try something..