January goes so slow, don't you agree? Majority of people aren't happy and it's like an after Christmas lull. It will soon be over then we can get on with the rest of the year!
I've started feeling a little bit better, a little bit more like myself, but i'm not myself yet.
I wish I could explain it all, but I don't even know myself. It's like someone took away all my happy, motivated thoughts and replaced them with anxiety and worry. I'm normally good at looking on the brightside and maintaining a happy personality but this past week has been weird. Aside from crying into my boyfriends arms, I have had random outbursts and panics about such small little things, and haven't wanted to be alone. I thought I was sorted and excited for the future, to be growing up..I am, I am! I guess a sense of overwhelm gets to us all sometimes.
I have been gluten free for 10 days now, and I think (hope) it is doing me some good, I mean, all the research is positive and everyone i've spoken to have said good things about it, so i've got nothing to lose? Hopefully I will start seeing some effects soon, it would be nice to lose a little weight too!
As most of you know, I am set to graduate this year, after years of primary school, high school, sixth form and now university, I am finally going to be in the big outside world, I am the one who can choose my next step and where I go; scary/overwhelming/exciting - I feel them all! If I was to reflect back on the last few years, I would see how far i've come. I like to think of myself as a pretty levelheaded person who has grown strength in dealing with everything I have, one of my favourite quotes is 'get knocked down 7 times, get up 8' - which is true, and I like to live by that, you have always got to make sure you get back up again, even if it does take you a little while (mine is a week so far) so what, chances are you'll get back up and be a little stronger than last time!
I guess what i'm trying to say is i'm just realising that I actually have control over what happens next, there isn't a set path for me..it's a little exciting as there is so much I want to do, but at the same time..bloody overwhelming! I guess
I just need to listen to myself and take one day at a time..I mean, that's the best way right? I can't be the over-organiser anymore, it takes up too much energy. I've learnt that it's how you deal with things that matter most - that is what effects how you feel from a certain situation.
So that's what I gotta do!
Go with the flow!!
I invite you all to do the same, stop organising something, leave something until the last minute (don't be worrying about it until then), do something for yourself like have an extra long bath or eat a couple more chocolates. It's our lives, we should do what we want and not have to worry!!
The only thing that matters is that you are alive, and you are happy
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