Watch out, this is going to be a big one! 


A big update that is..haha! 


Funny aren't I..


Just wanted to start by telling you that i've just got back from possibly the best dance class this year, I managed it ALL, didn't sit out for ANY of it, no funny turns and no second thoughts, I did it ALL, even the pirouettes, in both directions :) eeeeeeee! I was buzzing all the way home!


Anyway, so I meant to blog last week as I wasn't as happy as I am now, I was down and completely fed up! It all started with a NASTY sickness bug (sorry, this blog will have a lot of caps!) in which I was completely out of action all day, couldn't stand up by myself, didn't eat all day and couldn't even lift a cup to my mouth for a drink - it was awful! The only thing that kept me sane was the Jubilee coverage on TV, I watched a little - fell asleep, woke up and watching some more - Sky + is brill! ;) 


I had to go into the office on Wednesday, of which I just broke down completely, I HATE crying as it just exhausts me more but better out than in I suppose. This for me I think was a turning point, I realised that I can't go on like this and something needed to be done. Anyway, I won't tell you what I thought to do, I will tell you what I have done 


- I have started taking my vitamins again
- I have researched into getting a lightbox, they look quite worthwhile but they are quite expensive so I've ordered a lightbulb that has the same effect which is in my bedroom light as we speak :) Not using it loads because i'm not always home but little bits at a time, so we shall see how that goes.
- I've also (now this sounds funny) but put a lot of people straight on my facebook, I was always worried about what people would think if I had to cancel on them or not do something, which wasn't helping me really so now people know i'm ill, if they want to know whats wrong, they can ask me. Of which some did, and they were nothing but nice to me & I got lots of nice messages from those who already knew too, not sure what I was worried about :) 
- I'm being sensible and only doing ballet for now, stopping tap until I'm better, I was struggling too much - at least this way I can concentrate on Ballet now and get stronger :) 
- I'm going to continue to think of MYSELF, it's time to be selfish! 


I can tell you....so far so good! 
I can promise you that I will carry this on and hopefully get stronger by the day! 
I want to let you all out there know, those that are struggling 
you will get there
I've started to accept small things as big achievements, so even if it something small that you've done today that you didn't do yesterday then, well done you! 
I've been up and down so so much in the last year, I wouldn't of even thought I would of been how I have, but it just goes to show sometimes you can't help how it affects you.


The main thing is don't give up! 


Thank you for listening to me, always.
Lots of love and gentle hugs :) 
Charlotte